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if i am willing
she’ll continue to be hard on me.
she appreciates my intensity, and intention,
and wants to support me in developing the ’empathy’ and ‘sensitivity’ to be in the wed. night scoring class.
she notices i am very active in my improvisation and feels i’d benefit from slowing down.
sometimes my energy doesn’t match others’.

i appreciate her guidance
and am choosing to be a ‘yes’ to it.
how else to get the most in a mentorship
besides giving it a serious shot?

wonderings, though:

after a lifetime of needing to be good and beautiful, and to not make waves
i am definitely expressing in the realms of ‘violent’ ‘wild’ ‘ugly’ ‘angry’ ‘sad’ ‘making waves’ in the Authentic Movement studio
it is true that aggro energy is often there to be cleared out first when i move from inside out, simply b/c there aren’t as many appropriate spaces to move that sort of energy in everyday life.

does ‘playing well with others’ look a particular way?

tonight a woman in a graduate dance program mentioned she thinks there’s room
for both performance where the mover/s are aware of aesthetics
and performance based in somatics where the mover/s are staying within and not focused on how they look from outside.

i can see the truth in that.
am i mostly interested in the latter?

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