44 years old & i visit Anna Halprin’s scoring class tonight for the 1st time
i just sit there and cry for a part of it
i don’t even need to know where the hell this is leading
‘cuz i have no clue
i just know
these are my peeps
i have to be here
i have to come here every Wed. i can.
tonight i was completely moved by the improvisational movement of a Japanese woman from Berlin who is visiting the US to collaborate with inkBoat, Yuko Kaseki, and of a Korean woman visiting for the same reason, Heekyung Cho.
Yuko took my breath away with the utter commitment in every fibre of her being in each gesture she did, and the masterful, unwavering focus with which she did this. I was inspired and learnt so much about life, meditation, concentration simply witnessing her. At times we fell over laughing. At other times, like when she moved with Heekyung, I was so touched, I simply wept. I have rarely been so affected by movement/dance before. Heekyung: There was something iridescent, translucent, beautiful, graceful, transparent about her movement tonight.
i am completely humbled.
in the world of that sort of dance, i am a novice. there is a _lot_ of space for me to gain in breadth and depth and mastery. i have a lot of body experience – hours and hours of life art modeling, yoga, authentic movement, freeform dance, but i rarely did these things with ‘performance’ in mind, except maybe with modeling, though even then my internal emphasis was ‘practice’. actually, if i think of it, i expect that is a primary focus for Yuko as well, from what i can tell.
ANYhow, it it does not matter. i bring a particular breadth and depth of experience.
each of us brings something unique.
i saw that tonight:
so many different personalities, ways of moving, ways of being.
so many different types of expression and artistry.
@ The Blank Placard Dance Sat.
Daria (Halprin) and I bumped into each other. We met eyes. “Hi!” we said to each other. I presumed she didn’t remember me so immediately added: “I came to a Tamalpa Experience weekend with you once.”
She said “I know.”
“You remember me? You have a good memory.”
“Yes, I remember you. You are a powerful woman in the studio,” she stated, then added I was a probably a powerful woman outside the studio too.
I do not know about that.
I don’t sit around feeling that, most days, as I move about my business, doing laundry, dishes, being with Anja, sitting aside at playground or at Homeschool Skate or whatnot.
I know it somewhere inside though.
I am grateful
to be 44
to bump into Anna when she is 94.
I am grateful she is still teaching.
I have only been to Tues/Wed. classes maybe fewer than 10 times
but I feel she is a teacher
and we are forming a relationship
and she knows, sees, and is guiding me.
Tonight she told me not to bother going to the 6pm panel talk tomorrow; to focus my energies, instead, “here”, meaning the Wed. night class.
I was grateful for the guidance.
Now Anja and I can just get Tucker after Helen’s talk tomorrow at noon and play and head home rather than waiting around til 6pm for the talk, then getting Tucker after.
Thank you, God/dess. For everything.