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can i just say – w o w:

 so inspired. (check out all 4 excerpts). i had never seen anything like this before. i want to do work like this.

i also got new inspiration while we were in Taiwan these past 3 weeks, in particular the video work of Ching-hui Chou at the Taipei Museum of Contemporary Art, and the fiction film Sashimi, by Chih-yuan Pan, which i went to see solo at a mainstream theater while there.

then, i find out tonight, that Illusions Show (a multi-hour communal art creation event) http://illusionshow.blogspot.com/ is happening again in San Francisco. i was in Illusions 7 when pregnant with Anja. it would be amazing to attend or participate again, with her now out of my belly, and 6 years old.

i email the curator of the show, Adrian Arias http://adrianarias.net/. i surf around about him and Bob Marsh, a friend who posted the inspiring video above. i feel kinship – this sense that _this_ is what i’m supposed to be doing. both of them are artists who work in many media.

this is why, going through the Heart of Business coursework i’ve been doing for the past 4 months, isn’t quite working for me. i am not quite a fit with creating a business that provides the service of helping people with a specific problem.

how do artists earn their keep? do i just keep doing my thing, within the current structure of our family, where i am the primary stay at home parent?

why is it, in Taiwan for the past 3 weeks, i was hardly irritable with my husband at all? we were adventuring together.

here, back in Petaluma, i feel that ‘caginess’ return.

i know what i need to do.

i need to find artist community, people who inspire me, people to collaborate with.

my feelers clearly need to expand out to SF, the East Bay, and beyond.

The Threads Between Us was a poignant experience. People from so many different corners of my life converged together for an experience – an experience of play, connection, the unknown.

It was also poignant and revolutionary for me because our daughter Anja was there, and I was doing what I love _with_ her alongside, participating, having a blast, and adding her magic. I have often felt I ‘can’t’ do what i love with her alongside, but clearly that is not so, or is changing.

a few thoughts to share with you on this jet-lagged morning.

xo,
antonia.

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