i’m realizing i have the capacity to comfort, heal, clarify
that this is a gift
that a form this naturally occurs in for me is words. speaking/writing.
constriction in body, keeping myself safe
constriction in inhale, fending life off.
this morning, in yoga:
soft, open inhale
(noticing how emotional this was for me)
receptivity to life
receptivity to others giving to me
and love streaming in.
i grew up in a first-generation immigrant-generation Taiwanese family
where a mantra was: work hard.
when my paternal grandfather came over, it wasn’t ‘hello, how are you?’
it was: ‘are you working hard?’
at his bedside after grandfather attempted suicide, what my father shared was ‘business is going well’ (meaning: ‘i love you. i’m working hard; you don’t have to worry after me.’)
‘working hard’ was the ticket to ‘success’ and thus happiness
i got really good at efforting
and by default buying into: that life requires efforting
rather than ease
how FULL and powerful the ease
the spaces of NOTHING
are the spaces in which clarity and voice rise forth
soft, quiet pools.
self as conduit