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just having one of those moments
when i know the people in my life
that i love
can all die at any time
& so
am making sure
they know i love them
that our last interaction wasn’t a hang-up
that we are complete with each other.

called & reached my dad this morning, just to check in, touch base, something i don’t often do. ended with “i love you” before hanging up.
he didn’t say anything in response and it didn’t matter.
there was just this incredible, grateful, welling up of emotion after:
gratitude that the “i love you”  had simply been there
known
felt
then said.
uncomplicated.
true.
my dad is the one person i love
with whom i have felt the least complete with
and now i feel more complete.
yay.
thank you.

i also called and left a message with my mom
saying i didn’t like that the last time we spoke, i hung up on her.
i invited her to call when she had a chance, & said “i love you.”
just got off the phone with her.
she is worrying about & asking after my sister.
does my sis have a chance of finding a partner?
‘of course!’ i said. ‘some people find ‘the one’ at 80.
how do you know how life will play out?’
rather than annoyed
i am touched by – empathetic with – her worrying
b/c
d*mn
that woman loves us three kids.
we are her everything.
what a die-hard always-there mom she has been
what an infinite number of gestures of care she has gifted us with all these years.
as a mom now
i am
totally
completely
blown away by
her,
their,
love of us.

thank you.

happy.

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