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i’m going to write b/c i am feeling stopped up & am committed to EXPRESSing, even as i ride waves of fear and discomfort around people judging, not understanding, misunderstanding, writing me off forever, being utterly uninterested, etc.

on the altar: my job is to “be well kNOWn

on Facebook, there have been zero comments on the Welcome to the Pod 1 video (outside of Fearless Journal) since i posted it yesterday.

i am realizing 7.5 min. is an eternity on FB or online these days. asking for that amount of ANYone’s attention feels presumptuous, or at least highly unlikely to be granted, unless you are presenting a totally entertaining, well-edited thing.

these days, the truth is you probably have 5 sec. – 2 min. max to capture and hold an audience of random passers-by, or even of your friends who love you.

thoughts off of this:

* performance vs. real-ness – which do i want to do?

* live streaming & raw vs. edited footage.  is there a powerful use for live streaming & raw video for the mover or viewers?  can people _really_ feel they are participating through video? does ANYone want to watch 1-24 hours of ANYone?

that said, for me, anyways, there was value to the “new action” of shooting and posting:

* it was amazing to view myself moving for the 1st time ever. in years of practicing Authentic Movement, i had only ever known my movement from behind closed eyes, and there was value to witnessing myself.

* it felt poignant and intimate to have Anja on my lap, laughing her head off watching the video – “Mommy! What are you doing?!” – and hubby and my sister enjoying the scene alongside.

* finally, it has been encouraging & r/evolutionary to receive even 1 or 2 comments like this one, from a fellow Fearless Journaler:

Your videos are so RAW & REAL. That was what I thought and felt while watching you in The Invisible Pod. It looked and felt like FREEDOM to move, make noise, and it looked/felt really comfortable and safe, fun and exciting! I WOULD DO IT !!” 

people experiencing expanded SPACE and freedom to BE is an effect i have been aware of having on people; it is a gift i bring. receiving feedback like this makes me realize (1) duh!, there _is_ a population out there for what i have to offer and, (2) i am “onto something” – e.g. a business/structure that is as ‘radical’ as i am, through which to offer what i’m here to offer.

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